A founder, author, Nicholas DeGrange Interview: How can we find our authentic truth ?

hi nico welcome to life education tv hey nana how are you i'm doing good well thank you very much for coming today so i know that you have very interesting life story right so can you tell us you know your background and what you do currently yeah so um growing up i i'm from uh western maryland so outside of like baltimore dc very rural area my neighbors were like cows so not not super exciting but it's really pretty out there and i just remember growing up always creating always thinking of new ideas and for that i was kind of like a black sheep but i it didn't bother me a whole lot until i started you know being uh coined as different for my ideas so i i remember like wanting to to get out and um and to travel as much as i could like as soon as i left the house so 18 um i ended up going to drexel university for mechanical engineering and then while i was there i also studied business um it was a five-year program i ended up moving to singapore working in the robotics industry which was like the singapore alone was like a very life-changing uh experience not just the corporate experience but the culture and the experiences that i had while i was there after that i um i came back to university and i was living out of my car for three months which i'll go into that later um and and why i did that and then after those three months i uh i went abroad i studied in berlin for a little while and then after that i studied in london and then i left london and i came back to well i moved to new york city and i worked in fashion um but i was on like i was more on the corporate side like supply chain back end of everything so like i was i was seeing how like a big international corporation was working and then i had to go back and finish school so i had 15 months straight through uh so now well i i finished university 2019 uh summer of 2019 i was looking for jobs um everywhere between like business development corporate development i ended up changing the finance after i moved back from new york because i was so interested in how finances affected the way business moved and the way they made decisions and things like that so i was looking for jobs in both business development and finance um couldn't find anything spent like a year just in isolation alone i went to japan for a little while with some friends which was incredible um and then now i'm out here in la uh i just published a book a month ago uh really like diving deep into my story documenting everything and um i'm working in uh private markets in finance so that's all i'm going to say for now because we have a lot coming on this front how like so it sounds like you've been to different industries right like

i guess how were you able to

like try different things without like questioning yourself like being like all over okay if that makes sense because i think yeah um

yeah so uh for me i was always interested in a bunch of different subjects growing up so if if there is in culture people like to coin um or they they like to call you different things so like for example recently publishing a book people like oh you're an author now and i'm like yeah i'm an author but that's i guess i am because i published a book but i'm not really a traditional author and people love to classify things it's um it's it's in our nature like psychologically we we love to classify things because it makes things easier to objectify so growing up i was um always interested in a bunch of different things and i think more than anything i'm an artist so i was always looking at artistic solutions for any problems i wasn't seeing issues so much as i was seeing solutions so when i but well there was an ex there was a work experience i had before going into robotics which was in real estate and it set me up for business development in robotics so it was a completely new experience but what i was doing while i was there i was like okay what are some of the underlying strengths that i have that i can use in this position even if it is new even if it doesn't feel comfortable whatsoever and there was a huge learning curve me and my boss we butted heads a lot but we communicated through those issues and i think that has really been a key for me and understanding like you can it is very scary when you're moving into into new fields and and you're not always going to know anything everything but when you step into those fields um you have to be aware of that and you have to be willing to communicate and ask questions and i think corporate culture and performance culture especially within the united states but i would say performance i mean even in like corporate culture in japan um we're basing what we do we're basing our identity off of what we do so we're so afraid to fail at anything and people actually aren't looking for that perfection they're looking for maybe a failure and then a better solution because if you're never failing you're never coming up with better solutions actually that made me another question like you have a such a attitude about life where you're very easy going right but yeah what makes you say no what does it take you to say no um so one thing that i didn't learn until later was that there are definitely are times and seasons for things so part of the reason i lived out of my car after i was you know living like a trust fund kid in singapore was because i ran out of money and i was trying to build an alternative energy business at the time and intuitively i knew it wasn't like i was headed down a road where it was a lot of hard work and like i had i had um the science to back my work and i had connections but internally i wasn't ready to shoulder the weight of something of that scale but i kept moving forward and i kept like um i guess uh starving myself of gratification because i thought that that was you know what you did if you wanted to be successful and i dug myself into this hole where i couldn't really climb out and

i don't know like recognizing it it took me a while after to recognize that there's a right place and a right time for everything and you can be working towards something without working to get something there there definitely is a difference and it's just you you start to understand what that is after you spend time in your craft like that that that endurance that that waiting as you're waiting to see the results but you're more focused on you know little victories are a big thing and character is a huge thing were you disappointed though when you noticed that extremely extremely i see like yeah

um it was a lot of quiet time for the first time in my life um spirituality and emotional health became extremely important to me i was always really into self-help because i i figured if you know a growing up my mom was a psychotherapist so i i understood the value of paying attention to your inner world i didn't i don't think i really uh too much acknowledged like that were human beings are intellectual emotional and spiritual and i wasn't really paying attention to my spiritual life whatsoever so it was getting quiet and figuring out like who god was and spending time with with god and that was way different for me because in my mind every day something was going on and i wasn't progressing i was like there's no point to be spending time with god because that's not going to help me achieve my dreams that's not going to help me get ahead in life like i'm not doing anything but actually i was learning a lot of really important lessons because i was looking for accomplishments and accolades and that was very performance i oriented like very uh performance identity based i wasn't looking at my own character and i didn't realize that if i didn't have the characters to sustain what i was building i wouldn't be able to manage that i see that's a very big learning i i'm also facing the same thing so i can very much resonate with everything i said so uh that actually leads to my next question which we just talked about rejection in terms of you dejecting yourself right like you coming to the point where you're realizing that you realize that well maybe this thing i'm working on maybe is not for me right and that's the one form of rejection to toward your dream yeah i want to talk about ejection a little bit um how do you how can you keep your sense of self-love and sense of uh self-worth when you have when you have to take rejections from either internally or outside of the world that's a really tough one because i think so we all struggle with different things but the one of the underlying issues that we struggle with is that we want to be loved and we want to be accepted but that can look a lot of different ways so we can identify the root but we also have to take a look into what's going on in our own life and like what we struggle with so for me um i and i actually just had a podcast um the other day where somebody asked me uh like what the biggest fear in my life was and i said for me it was the fear of rejection but that was tied to the fear of failure i thought it was a fear of failure but it was really i didn't want to fail because i didn't want to be rejected so i figured out a way growing up almost like a survival mechanism where if i was interested in something i would go in private and i would become masterful at it and i wouldn't bring it out in front of people until i was already a master so then people would be like oh wow because i was looking for that acceptance so i think it's going to look a little bit different for everyone but for me accomplishing a bunch of different things and becoming extremely eccentric and having all of these different accolades where i could like boast like subtly like humbly boast about myself like i was never like outright about it i tried to pretend like i was humble and then i would talk about it but i loved talking about myself but i wasn't like life wasn't getting any richer it just felt more and more hollow and i was spending all of his time and i was like why am i spending all this time doing these things because it's not actually for me it's like i'm doing these things i'm interested in these these topics of course but it's almost like i'm putting in the work so that i can tell other people to get them to affirm me and accept me and i remember really early on like uh like thinking about the difference between acceptance and tolerance versus celebration and i began to change friend groups based on that because i was interested in being celebrated as a friend as most people would you know um rather than being tolerated or accepted but i was thinking about these things when i like that first thought came into my mind when i was like in the fifth or sixth grade so i was like 11 or 12 at the time and a lot of people are thinking about these these things when they get into university they're 18 19 20 21 when they go out into the real world they're like oh you know my co-workers actually aren't my friends they're not really interested in me we just do the same things so when i began to figure out that

accolades and my accomplishments weren't actually helping me overcome my fear of rejection it was getting quiet and it was that quiet time it was that time alone it was spending time figuring out who i was and getting to know who i was and that time really sucked because

in the moment it was like oh i don't have any friends oh i'm not close to anyone like i don't feel like i'm actually connecting with anyone but that time alone is so important regardless of how long the season is because when you're not around many other people you're actually getting to figure out who you are and it's unstained by the views of other people so that when you do come back into friendships and relationships society you know who you are and that is powerful to a lot of people because you know even moving out here to la two months ago everyone has an idea for how i should live my life and when i don't bend to the way of culture people are like who is this person because it's not normal people aren't used to that people are used to like you know we have our morals we have our codes we have our values but then after time we get worn down because it's just like cultures constantly washing over us idea other people's idea of how we should live our life is constantly washing over us so that time alone even though it was brutal was honestly extremely helpful because now i can go out in a culture like la that's constantly pushing its way on me and i'm okay to continue living see as as who i really am yeah it's very powerful like but do you still have that um i guess doubts though sometimes maybe like you know for example let's say you're trying to get a funding from someone or let's say you're trying to build a business partnership with someone else and then maybe that person for their own reason rejects you for your offer like what's the conversation you have in your head yeah so doubts definitely it's like you know it's a daily battle and we don't always get to pick our thoughts um they kind of just come to us but we get to choose what we meditate on and um so i kind of want to tie this in because this is extremely popular in in pop culture especially in la is the concept of manifestation like where you make things happen for yourself not really but it's kind of the right idea what does manifestation take it takes a belief that something is going to work out even though it's not here yet right so faith is always honored whichever way you're putting it so um like to have an anticipation a hopeful expectation of something is putting faith into a good outcome but having doubts having fears having faith in something that's not going to be a good outcome is partnering with fear so i really have to pick and choose what thoughts am i meditating on uh what am i aligning myself with because there there are doubts every day that's very beautiful you said yeah that's very powerful so i'm gonna move on to my third question which actually it kind of overlaps with what we just talked about um the third question so you know you told you shared me that at one point you have to live in your car right like can you tell me more about that why did that happen and then what was going on in your head yeah so i um i was really committed sorry i have to move um i'm in a public world so i'm gonna also give you a little bit more context why this question is so important especially for young entrepreneurs because you know like entrepreneurship is very uh the night right now with the climate of everything that's going on and yeah but i mean entrepreneurship really sucks just as much as everything else right so it's really comfortable your own self-awareness what you really want and especially you know it's kind of hard when you're bashed this culture of you know like people pretending like they already figured out everything and especially you know looking around the people um around the same age you know having the house like building family you know having car whatever whatever that we are supposed to have at this age like very discouraging right like it also definitely triggers us to send a different message to us saying like oh you know i'm not a step like i'm choosing because i'm choosing different paths and everyone else where people like people who chose easier paths are figuring everything out and over here like i look like stupid person who's just choosing to work 24 7 for no money and you know what i mean so i mean they're yeah where uh especially when you're a young entrepreneur with the wrong idea coming into entrepreneurship you know these moments would hit you right and then really yeah make you notice that wow like entrepreneurship is not necessarily about this grammar's lifestyle that i thought it was going to be about so yeah even if you have the right kind of mindset where you actually know what you want to do and entrepreneurship is the one path that you chose um to make your dream to make your actual dream come true like these times are hard still right like we all yeah yeah we're stupid nobody wants to think that we're less than anyone else right so right given this context i i just found it very humbling and also very out of like inspirational that you actually went through that process where you know you were humbly you hungry chose to live in a car and you know doing the grind like actual grind that you need to do um yeah your dream like because everybody want everybody wants to skip that phase right so can you kind of tell me a little bit more of that yeah so um i would say at the time um i was kind of seduced by that uh

the lie of entrepreneurship i was still but i was still figuring it out um but i was also you know like i'm a very uh i don't know if i'm as stubborn as i used to be um i'm very set in my ways for sure but before i was really stubborn and i think i was just listening too much tony robbins and jim rohn and stuff like that like gary vee you just you just you just do it and it's gonna happen and i was fully committed to that that if i like i was i guess i was like pursuing that uh manifestation theory that like if i put it out there in the universe and put it out there in energy and and i worked really hard things were just going to come together i was stupid like just plain and simple so i had uh just over three grand saved up from from working and i knew i was only going to be in the states for three months and i was like i can live out of my car like i'll figure out a place to stay with someone i'm sure you know like my uh my the prototype for my technology is tangible now and um i'm sure somebody will like invest in in the company or equity because we had already had investment offers and um i turned the first big one down because i was too scared that was it was just plain and simple i was just too scared i didn't know what it was going to look like as a 20 year old to take on a large sum of money and then be personally responsible for that so when i was living out of my car it was kind of just like i committed to this i said i was going to do this now i'm going to stick through it and that was kind of the way i was raised like i remember being young like even if i had even if i felt really sick my mom would make me go to school like unless i was throwing up i was fine so i learned early on that nothing was too difficult even if it felt like i was really suffering i needed to stick through that and i needed to see it through and when i when i lived in singapore i started to recognize the value of um committing to things because it's so it's so easy to say you're going to do something and then not follow through or even show up and do it and just not be there not invest your energy there um so i was like you know what i'm going to see this through uh one of my best friends at the time was like dude you can stay at my place you can sleep in my bed whatever like you're you know like we're in this together and i was like no like i appreciate it but i made this decision i have to see it through now things are going to be okay and um a kind of two-week anticipation two-week max anticipation of like sleeping out of my car turned into three months and i was eating like one meal a day and it um my schedule had to be like perfect or things would would go completely wrong like i had to wake up at exactly the same time and go to bed at exactly the same time go take a shower at the gym go work out make sure everything was done like without flaw and over the course of 12 weeks that wore me down like i thought i was like okay i'm capable of doing this and i realized that i thought a lot higher of myself than was actually true and i really felt kind of like dejected and i i guess that's the right word like an outcast from society like people were like oh like what's going on because i wasn't really around people were like what's going on with you and i was like oh you know just like laying low they're like where are you living now and i'm like um yeah i'm staying out of my car and they're like no no no like i'll give you a place to stay none of those people on the nights where it was too hot to sleep in my car none of those people who offered a place actually like fulfilled the word so i was kind of in this place where i was like maybe i'm not actually as great as i think i am maybe i'm not as valuable as i think i am and um that was a really tough place to be because i was still holding the only thing i was holding on to was the success of the company because it was my idea it was tied to me so i was like if the company succeeds it means i succeed um and if people accept the company people accept me it was kind of like that type of thinking and i found out when i was in london i walked into an investor's office for a meeting with him and he was on the other side of the world and i was like this is it it's over like i'm done i can't i can't do this anymore i'm out of money my business partner bailed on me like this i knew that it was coming to this end and i just didn't want to accept that and i should have got out months ago and um that's when it really that's when i really had to like get alone and figure out what was going on because i had no i felt like i had no purpose and if you've ever been there for for for you or anyone watching like any of our audience who's watching has ever been in life without purpose there is nothing that can satisfy or make that pain go away it is the most numbing terrible feeling in the world because you're you're living out your days questioning what to do with your days um and anything that you do it's kind of just like this isn't what i was made to do and you know it intuitively and it's kind of tormenting so that was the experience of living in my car and i think that like shot me to the bottom um it kind of like humbled me out really fast which was good and i needed that so i guess i came up with two following up questions uh given your story the first thing is so you you earlier mentioned about like how um how you were i don't know you said it was stupid of you that you thought you know if you just like put out the energy i'm working really hard it's gonna happen right like why why did you say it was not the right way to go so no um so we love to hear the stories of people who give everything in order to have it all

but that's only a handful of stories and the reason i say that is because nobody's televising the story or documenting the story of people who are giving their all and hitting rock bottom and living purposeless for the rest of their life or or dying or killing themselves whatever nobody's telling that story nobody likes to hear that story but that actually does happen to people and for a good year and a half i had a lot of doubts and i really questioned whether that was going to be my story or not for the first time in my life i when i after i came back from new york i

was like okay i have to just be okay with just working a job and not dreaming so much because i got to the point where like my visions of what my life of what i i wanted my life to look like and and what i was hoping for were just too painful to put any energy into and i was just like you know what i just have to enjoy these little moments in life like i didn't really feel like i was connecting with anyone i felt really alone i felt like without purpose i felt super isolated um and those are two different things you can you can feel alone and be around people but then you can actually be isolated apart from community and that's a completely different feeling um so uh i don't know does that answer your question yes i kind of lost track of of my thoughts there sorry i know um my my original question was why did you say that it was stupid of you that um you know you just i guess yeah you you went on the dreaming doubt and then just worked your ass off and then you were hoping to work out but according to your answer was that like that's not the whole story that that's get picked up like a lot of time i mean there are times where people lose hope because they lose on their ideas right so then my next question would be like

so you you obviously have that moment where you have to kind of like you know really do more thinking about what you wanted and then redefine your purpose and everything right and then as you were describing it was painful experience and then you felt isolated and you release right so what do you think

gave you so during that time

what made you to become faithful again about you know you it's okay to dream it's okay to because i guess fundamentally this is very interesting question because this is my whole theme of the life of education tv is predicated on where i recognize the same struggle too i think as we age we tend to there's hope we tend to be the goal we tend to play and it totally makes sense but like i just find it more beautiful and i think it's actually a strength when you are able to keep streaming in life right and i think that's yeah that's a hardcore skill and for example i have this quote um that i live by where you know nobody teach us in school nobody teach us how like learn how to dream right like that's not our teacher says when we first right but i think it's so important when you are in the early age like you you should probably do the most risk like the risky thing and then work so that you know how to dream i think that's important um but i'm just trying to pick up your brain of like how so basically you you were at this very low point of your life and then how did you i guess come to another point of life where you kind of started noticing that well i mean yeah i did fail but you know staying within the corporate rather whatever really isn't resonating with my story like that's not who i am okay so i have to really like because now you have your own company you publish the book and you know everything like that like how did you overcome that time where you had a really heavy self-doubt yeah um definitely a lot of grace for sure it was it was a really tough time um i so there's something called the parable of the talents i don't know if you've ever heard of it it's a parable about um like what you're being given and we're all given different things according to our capacity and it's not so much like culture thinks it's super honorable uh it's it's more honorable if you're given more and you steward it well to 100 of your ability so the parable of the talent is that and i just want to run through it real quick because i'm going to tie this in there were three three servants and a mask like a landlord like a master and the landlord said he was going away for a year and he gave one servant five talents which a talent was equivalent to about a year's wage in that time so he was given five years wages over the course of one year and there was another servant who was given two talents and then the third servant was given one talent and he said i'll be back in a year do with my uh like make a return on my money so he comes back after a year and he talks to the first servant and he said um i took the five talents that you gave me and i was able to make another five so i have ten now and he said well done good and faithful servant the second one he said i took the two talents that you gave me and i made two more so now i have four and he said well done good and faithful servant the third servant comes up to the landlord and says i knew you to be a harsh man so i buried your money in the ground and now i dug it back up here it is and he said you're wicked and you're lazy you didn't steward what i gave to you why didn't you at least put it in the bank and that sounds harsh but it's actually a testament of what we're given from the very beginning so both you and i are very creative individuals very entrepreneurial and it doesn't matter what corporate setting we're we're fixed in we still think that way we're not jammed in by the confines of corporate structure and that's why we're having this conversation right now so we still get a choice to use the gifts that we were given to impact other people because ultimately what those talents are are units of influence that we're able to use in other people's lives so i really had to look at my own story i had to look at my own life and i had to figure out who i was because if i didn't know who i was i didn't know what i was given and for me it was the first time i had ever actually looked at my life and said okay and will i survive if i don't build this alternative energy company and get in the transportation sector and do this that and the other because that was all i had dreamed about and um and i i knew what i wanted to do since i was a little kid i wanted to design cars and this was the perfect outlet for that i went to school for mechanical engineering like everything just seemed to add up perfectly it was the story that i didn't see coming it was it was the events that i didn't see coming that changed everything that allowed me to create more outside of what i had fathomed for myself and in doing that say i was given two talents in doing that i was producing a talent that i didn't even know i had

that's very deep

yeah okay i'm gonna move to the next question here okay so next one is let me see

so next one is mentors let's talk about mentors um i'm sure that oh sorry i'm sure that like throughout your journey you know you had time where you had to network with other business individuals yeah and i know this is something that you talk heavily about in in your book as well right can you tell me um is it necessary to have a mentor if you want to succeed and how do you network with mentors

i don't know if it's necessary but it is definitely super helpful um a lot of my uh mentors didn't come from networking as much as it did just from asking questions the more i ask questions there are always people out there who are extremely wise and have a lot of experience who are just waiting for people with less experience to ask them questions they want to teach some people are teachers by nature and they're not in the school system they might be like for example when i worked in the fashion industry i worked directly under a senior vice president the senior vice president of the business of sales and i was just asking her questions constantly so she was showing me the corporate world that i was i would never have been able to see even if i would have spent 20 years trying to work my way up the ranks one of my personal mentors growing up it was just from asking questions about school

asking questions about uh different areas of academics and and how i could use the gifts that i had to apply it to the world of academia and um i i still get to call him and talk to him um i just called him when i released my book and he thought it was hilarious because i was terrible at english and grammar and writing growing up so you know it's like you're building you're you're building not only emotional uh emotionally beneficial relationships with these people but you're building deep intellectual relationships with them because they're sharing things that people have to pay for a lot of the times you you mentioned wise how do you define wise people what is wise

i think it's an accumulation of understanding experience intellect

never stopping the learning process always curious about everything else and never thinking that they're wiser than they are um for for any individual i should say um like you're you're truly wise when you when you don't think you're wiser than you are because even if you don't know much that's the beginning of understanding and things are so subject to change so frequently there's not too many ultimate truths in the world a lot of people think there are a lot of people think the way they live their life is the ultimate is their ultimate truth um but it can get really subjective when you look at life like that and to think that you have it all figured out when somebody else is living a completely different life and they're extremely sick i should say i i don't want to say successful but their life is extremely rich and rewarding to look at their life and to not take into consideration that they're doing something right is it is foolish so i think it's accumulation and also being an accumulation of understanding and and um experience but also uh discernment because as you have more experiences you become more uh aware of what the root issues of experiences or situations are and you can quickly identify that problem do you do you think that it's important for us to know how to control our emotion like is it one of the characteristics we should have as a successful person i yeah i don't think you should so growing up with a psychologist this is a really interesting question um emotions are almost like a check engine light in the car um like you shouldn't be driven to action by your emotions but you should begin to look in within yourself as to why that emotion is going off and then as soon as you can identify what's causing that emotion to go off then you can come come up with a proper answer and there's not always going to be it's it's not going to be like that every time where you can't just like you have to stop and reflect in things sometimes your emotions will drive you to action um so yeah i think i think that's important

because you're not making as a leader you're not making rash decisions right is there any tip you want to give to people or any sort of you know tactic or method you use to i guess control your emotion yeah i would say um at least for me it's taking a step back from the situation even just for we talked earlier about either partnering with doubt or partnering with anticipation like hopeful expectation and sometimes you have to take a step back and and you can't partner with that emotion because as soon as you partner with that emotion it causes an emotional response to evoke i see okay so i'm gonna move on to my final question oh okay so we're both young we're both bit both are you and like to me one of the struggles sometimes i have is i'm too inexperienced so i feel like people might not take me as seriously because i'm very young or something like this right like do you have that fear and how do you fight against that if you did yeah um this was i thought i had like overcome this by the time i graduated but when i was applying for jobs and i wasn't getting anything and people kept telling me i was uh i wasn't qualified enough for the position i got it it was super frustrating because i started to get super bitter and i was like i know things that you don't know and that's not a good place to be like it might have been true but it was more of like an emotional response and i couldn't be the best me i couldn't offer all that i had if i was in that in that place in that state of mind so um i think one of the big things is just understanding who you are regardless of what other people say and the reason i say that is because a lot of the times it's the testing ground to see whether you actually know who you are the more resistance you're getting in your identity and who you think you are the more it's being hammered in it's like a foundation and any time you're breaking off so for me like i was uh i didn't have a stable foundation of understanding who i was every time i got bitter angry like i know more like how could you say i'm under qualified like i've worked with presidents before like what is this and every time i responded in that way it showed me that i had a crack in my foundation of understanding who i was so that's that's probably the biggest way to combat that because it's not like it's not going to happen in the future it is but you also have to understand that anyone who has more experience is older is wiser who isn't going to listen to somebody who's younger than them or less experienced them or who has less influence because influence is a big thing right now is a big topic right now is a fool because that's saying i know everything i know how to control my life i know how to make decisions that are best for me it's foolish relationships offer insight to problems that we don't have answers to right what are you saying that the person who's not willing to accept insights of who or the person who's with side yeah the person who's not willing to accept insight from somebody else is foolish right because they're kind of like fixated on where they are yeah yeah so what is how can we use this as our advantage how can we be what's the right attitude here like for someone young who's like willing to learn from other people as well but also like have a genuine authentic confidence about our capability um

i think uh i i think being willing to learn from other people particularly when you're young can be one of the greatest strengths that you have because you're rather than accumulating knowledge from just a teacher you're accumulating knowledge and experience from all those around you whether young or old

educated or not experienced or not sometimes people just have perspectives or insights on things that they might not have had much experience in but it doesn't mean that it's wrong and to be able to welcome that and then like chew on that and discern whether or not it's true or applicable to your own life is one of the greatest strengths that we can use because we're not in the corporate world per se we're accumulating knowledge and we're spreading it again so it's like we're taking on water to share with other people rather than you know uh drinking it ourselves and that is a strength that people in our position can uh can utilize i guess i have one question even though i said it was the last question um yeah how what's your approach to i guess how do you

do you try to prove yourself that you're right person to someone else like do you think

because that's not right approach right like that's not by any means you should always follow your own truth but like right with interact with everyday interaction and with so much opportunity chances where we need to coexist with you know 7.8 billion other people in this world like how can you kind of like what's your attitude around that where you have to go to others and then while keeping your own shirts and being true to yourself while other people having their own opinions like you know basically you know everybody try to prove themselves that they are the right ones yeah they know their answers like how can how do you navigate this world yeah so that's a that's an identity question um and the reason i say that is because when you really know who you are you don't have to prove yourself let's just say like i want to give a hypothetical here just to make this a little clearer say um you're the daughter of like a billionaire and nobody believes you you're just you know traveling around the world you're doing things on your own you know that your dad is a billionaire you don't have to try to prove that to people even if people don't believe it right because inherently you know it's true you are the daughter of that person it's the same way with our gifts um and that's why discovering who we who we are and who we are designed to be who we were meant to be all of our gifts is extremely important and i know it sounds kind of cryptic like what is my identity or like that sounds super vague but i can't be any more specific on it because it's so individualized for each person and if people aren't willing to discover who they are with what their identity is then it doesn't matter that much to them but if it's really that important then they're going to search until they find who they are and it's not through other people a lot of the times it's not it's not through the perspective of the lens of other people because sometimes our greatest assets are the things that people like really try to notch back like very highly analytical intellectual people sometimes in your closest relationships you'll hear people say oh you overthink things way too much it may be true from their perspective but that also might be a gift that's solving a problem that hasn't yet been solved so as soon as as soon as we try to prove who we are we're handing over the power of

the power that we hold in our identity to someone else um and and that's a that's a scary that's a scary place i agree i think i guess this is one of the things i also talk about in my book where i talk about like how it's okay to accept you your flaw included and when you are really able to accept that as a package like you have a good side bad side both like you you when you are able to accept that that really kills your insecurity that really kills yeah for someone else to come in and say like you're this and this and this and then i would be like yeah i am but i love myself yeah i think that's very powerful uh move to do i think um then you don't have to necessarily lose faith in yourself right um yeah so yeah that's very powerful well nico thank you very much for coming today and before i close this conversation i want you to tell us where people can find you and also your book is coming up well it's already probably out now uh can you tell me a little bit more about that yeah so i'm kind of a social ghost um i'm on here on instagram at nicholas degarange and then i also have a linkedin which is also nicholas de grange if you want to connect with me there uh like corporately um the book is called the one who follows and um it's under my author name nc degrange because i guess that's what authors do abbreviate their first two letters um so that's that's on amazon worldwide

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