Talk at In search of reality podcast! four courageous decisionsI took in life

Hello folks and welcome to the show this week we have a very special guest she is a motivator and coach a very deep thinker she has helped dozens of ceos and startup entrepreneurs build a successful business

she is the host of life up education tv author of the game of self-domination natsune oki how you doing

hi dylan thank you very much for having me on your show um i'm doing great how are you good good um so where are you joining us from today just let's let the listeners know yeah i'm based in tokyo okay right now yeah and then are you where are you in the states right yeah i'm in the states yeah how are you columbus ohio right now oh okay nice nice yeah we just relocated about a year ago um oh i've kind of been all over all over this all over the states but most part did i get there though um i'm originally from ohio i don't know not sure i kind of like i kind of like the coast i kind of like i kind of like to i like it out i like it out west and the western side of the united states and i really enjoy like being on the coast near the near the ocean that's kind of where it's kind of where my heart is i think no i i totally understand yeah and i know you you had studied over in the states right yeah i was in washington actually for quite some time like in the uh the pacific northwest washington yeah i was in washington state i was in seattle okay okay how did you like that how was that oh i i really liked it actually i i studied my business and economics degree over there i went there right after my high school graduation and uh basically built my life up right language which basically um why i end up with the name of the show that i have which is life of education tv but uh yeah that was like my very first journey i had uh being in like in the visual like journey yeah okay so i guess maybe we could talk a little bit about let's talk about a little bit about your uh what's up live tv what is what is life up tv yeah so the show i have is called the life of education tv and i'm a host as introduced um and this show is uh mean to deliver a message about possibility of human humanity because that's the big big theme that i'm inspired by whenever i think about possibility of us as a species as humanity i get really excited so i decided to make a show where i talk about that but in a perspective of art and science of success and arts and science of high achievers so i want to know the art aspect of what does it mean to pursue a dream and i also want to know the science perspective of it to really encourage people and show people how strong and capable we are as a humanity a lot of times i like to start at the beginning and just try to get a feel for my guests and just kind of see where you came from and how this kind of this journey began for you and how this how this manifested so let me ask you you know how did you kind of get started in this what is some of your background and where did this come from yeah so right now i have the life of education tv and within the same domain as you mentioned i'm also an author i wrote the book called the game of self-domination which talks about how to um how to create change in life but also how to be how to navigate through the changes like my mentally and mindset wise um so that's my book within the same domain education tv and i also have a business in tokyo it's called 40 connect where i help japanese businesses to enter american market or 40 market in general by connecting them with local services and partners so that's current my current status but to your point um my journey really started as i mentioned um at the time i graduated from high school and i actually very briefly mentioned this but i was almost kicked out high school student in japan because i wasn't doing very well in this education system in japan so that was like a very first journey i decided to take being courageous in life at that time i didn't necessarily have that intention to want to be courageous but at the time it was more like i just wanted to make sure that i'm not gonna regret in my life so you know that very point i decided to just move away from my very country which i felt kind of somewhat uncomfortable being a part of and just you know broke my shell and just go out and um the first place i settled down was washington state and of course as you can probably imagine like it was there was a lot of um i guess hard things that you had to overcome for you to just move from one country to another without the language capability without any friends no family no nothing right i think it takes a lot of bravery and uh a lot of determination to stick with that right yeah yeah so in terms of like perseverance though like at that time surprisingly it wasn't very hard um but that was like very the first time i really tasted what it was to have the change in life and then um of course yeah like you said like it took a lot of courages out of me and i think in general that really made me bold for the rest of the journey i was going to go through so what happened was i finished my degree in business and economics but within that i also took another courageous decision when i was still student which was as an international student it's very regular it's very normal common to find that you would just finish the entire thing you know at once and then you're just gonna be done with it but for me i just really wanted to see the world outside of school and in the country america right and at the time i was already like pretty into um you know entrepreneurship and then i was already very much integrated in the culture and the community of startup culture so what i did was actually i decided to take some time off from my school and i started working with lots of bunch of entrepreneurs and innovators and next generation thinkers and that time really changed my mind about how i want to go about my rest of my education because i noticed as i was interacting with a lot of you know this brilliant people i saw that they were they were such a micro thinker they would think about our advancing humanity like they they're they were not very money driven like they were thinking about the impact in people they were thinking about how the technology is able to take us to the next level like as you know us as humanity right and i was so inspired by that so at the time i decided to pursue economics more than business and noticed that actually it was a perfect study field because i care about people and feeling more than monetary like measure of success and i mean definitely you do need both elements in order for us to move forward right like we needed competition in order for us to like you know keep moving forward uh but i just saw the beauty of um so to speak be more generalist than being like a business specialist so i decided to pursue um economics uh with also study of business and then after i finished my degree basically i took another courageous decision uh so the third time it's crazy decision which was to move from one side of the country which was washington state to completely opposite side of the country which was really down miami right and it was like such a change but i think subconsciously i was i was searching for that i was searching for that once again this like super like challenge right like during these two times that i deferred deferred earlier um about the changes you know i was growing like i was challenged and then i i felt that i felt like those were the times i really expanded like my capability was truly tested but at the same time i found the great joy in that experience and i for sure saw how much capable i became through that experiences expansion right so i was very hungry for that because i was getting so bored after life in washington i knew everyone and i pretty much dominated right like everything so i thought let me just move somewhere else in this country like let's start over again so you know i just followed my instincts once again and i moved to florida and there oh my god it was like hottest like [ __ ] ever like like like at one point was so unstable and you know i basically you know it didn't make a lot of sense to some people i guess because you know from one place to another for first of all and i had no connection whatsoever once again and it just doesn't make any sense for you to make this change so you know there was this certain degree of pressure as well for you to like not fail and want to succeed in that environment and then at the same time like [ __ ] was hard i mean i was a foreigner and my language is like somewhat okay but you know it's not the native native and my competitive advantage against the old americans are like super low so no one wanted to hire me basically and at some point it got so bad that i like i would have to move from one place to another in just a matter of a week like it's so crazy and then you know i was like holy [ __ ] like [ __ ] like look at me like i'm such a loser um and then once again like those were the times i i kept listening to like a positive you know i wouldn't say affirmation but you know like mindset training program um i used at the time and you know every day just you know i just made sure that i wasn't gonna give up that's the only thing i could make sure so finally i found something and oh my god that place was [ __ ] like that business ever and then you know i finally found oh sorry did i stop you there i'm sorry is it okay okay um i finally uh found something with this super emotionally unstable italian dude he has this like a company miami so i um i started working for him but he was like you know like he wasn't

well like he wasn't doing well as an entrepreneur he had this such an extremely low level of emotional intelligence so anytime any hard things would hit him like he would just like freak out just go crazy he would curse at me he would yell at me he would have just threw the object in front of me like stuff like that and he would have just heard our people like in there and especially me because i was you know soft japanese young you know respectful uh individual i mean brought up from japanese society that that just like came natural to me right so you know that really ended up suffering me a lot by having that characteristic having to work in the environment where you have a different power dynamic in the work environment with you know people from different country who has authority over here right like it's it's a completely uh different you know kind of experience so you know i was not well uh because of that and i knew i had to do something better so i was finally able to find something else and actually through that my life basically went from zero to like super awesome uh i mean not to say that like you know every day it's like that because i never explained i never described success as one destination rather i explained success as a theme of life and then the flow of life so uh what happened from then is that i actually at that time i was able to meet my mentor i was able to meet a lot of inspirational people um that taught me a lot in business and management and then i um i was still working with the company but then i kind of came back to tokyo after that and then i was still working with the same company but at the same time i always felt like i was wasting my most active years of my life so i wanted to really play with my own idea so i did the super deep digging inside of me and then really started asking really deep question of what i wanted and which basically came down to some of the parts of you know what i put down on my book but you know the importance of self-awareness and then uh what i came about was i guess one of the few ideas came about the first one was um starting my own clothing business so i did that and then at the same time i still had that ongoing thing happening with the current company where i was selling their services right but at some point i kind of shifted it i shifted it and then you know mine as well i was already doing that i thought why don't i make this into my um into my own business so that's how i created for you connect then because at some point we decided to go into the different direction with the previous company and then um so i turned i converted it into um foreign connect uh that's the current organization i have and then basically even after that time um you know i would come i mean many many times actually after you're shifting to you know you being the ultimate uh responsible person for everything you do like there has been so much more mental gravity or just adversities that i had to just you know strive through so uh basically i decided to develop my own mental guide for that to fight against it even moving forward and then once again i wanted to name it as the game of self-domination because it always it always comes down to here it always comes down to your own mind so you know i just me being this position i just can't not let anything to be my reason to fail like i always want to hold myself accountable i i don't like excuses i don't like to blame on someone else i mean injustice has happened to everyone and those things can be out of your control like they might happen not due to your own fault but they might happen because they happen right like because [ __ ] happens but you have to if you're a leader you have to keep going and i'm the person like the first person who would say that to you because i had to have that mentality for me to keep striving in all the [ __ ] i had to deal with right so basically that's why i came up with a book and then that's the overall uh quick shot of my journey nice and i love the title of the book i think the title of the book really kind of explains the book right just the title alone you you kind of get an understanding for what you're getting into before you even start reading the book just the title alone is it's a it's a wonderful name um so let me ask you you mentioned that the importance of you know helping others maybe through through your through business or through like having other goals outside of just monetary value can you can you emphasize the importance of that um yeah so one other thing i use actually this is a method or the framework that i use to explain this concept in my book is have you heard of this japanese philosophy concept of ikai have you heard of the tsarniki guy no so ikigai is a concept japanese philosophical concept that we use and then they have this um well i guess a circle right like a four different circle explaining like what ikigai is ikigai exists in the future uh in the center and then you know you have the job you're good at you have the job you can be paid for you have the job that you see as a mission you have the job you see it as your passion and then so each different you know circle kind of explains its own thing and then you would have the ikigai at the center so what it comes down to that is the way i recommend or explain the difference between you know monetary motivation versus you know true passion pure mission is that uh i actually recommend diversification because i mean it when when it comes to business like it makes sense if you look at your um investment portfolio um you don't necessarily put pull all your asset into one packet but instead would want to diversify to decrease the risks right so the way i described it was so you have to you have your job or whatever that you can get paid for and then you have the job that you are good at and it that doesn't necessarily have to be your passion meets your passion or mission but you can still have that as sort of like a stable income stream right but in the same time you can have your passion project or passion job whatever it is that you keep pursuing because once again the theme that we live is success like success is not the one destination but success is a global concept in the theme that we live for so you know that being said uh we always want to have the inspiration we wake up to something that excites us and it doesn't have to finance you at all like i mean at some point it'll be nice if you can kind of manage the monetary side of that attached to how much value you create with your uh mission and passion but in terms of you know different time stages you can also have your stable whatever that's just gonna pay for you and then that's something that you can do you're good at doing but without necessarily having the personal attachment to it but you can just like do it for money like you can have that in the same time you can pursue uh something on the side that oh actually not that's not on the side but something uh equally important um you know um that serves for your purpose does it make sense yeah absolutely yeah you talk about um the three layers of mental transformation transformations for success um can you touch a little bit on that yeah so i would say this is a mental transformation i described to i guess navigate through the changes that's probably more properly phrasing and then you know success once again success is not the one step uh destination but it's rather the inspiration you have for uh something that excites you so you know like changes will unlock possibilities right like changes unlocks the opportunities the more fear i guess the more changes you face which always comes with the fear the better you become with the risks and rejections and any potential harm but on the opposite side of that is your gloves the opposite side of that is a more opportunity like you're more capable you're more capable of handling even the amount of success you can gain right so that being said um being able to navigate through the changes is very important so that's why i uh wrote about the three mental different uh three phases of interest transformation and then the first phase i talk about is i talk about how to create momentum and decisiveness in life commitment in life and then that comes with having a little bit of i wouldn't say a little bit but having desperation and inspiration at the same time so the inspiration is something you have when you feel like you're such a loser when you feel like you know you're so disgusted about your life you're so disappointed about where you you where you are right now and then inspiration you you need to have that disgusting feeling that you say enough is enough right like i gotta i gotta you know [ __ ] do something and then so that element you need to have that sort of like a revenge element right um because that's gonna make you stronger and then this at the same time you need to be able to see that whatever you dream of dreaming of right now is possible to happen like from your soul from your body from your brain everything needs to align uh to the point that it is possible and it is um so you need to believe that so that's the first transformation phase i talk about and then to move to second transformation um i talked i start talking about the importance of self-awareness the importance of um creating perseverance which takes um which requires you to have multiple things and then some example would be having a clear vision having certainty uncertainty is a choice you can create that and also having um having the ability to have an uh see the narrative and choose the story that's gonna push you during the hard times and then uh also come back to the first one i said the self-awareness is very very important because you can't you cannot pretty pretend to be something or pretend to want to have something but that's not going to last you like long enough to succeed because at the end you're not going to care like so you know in this topic the self awareness the importance of self-awareness i like without all the [ __ ] and without all you know skipping all that um yeah bs we really get down to what you what do you want right like you don't have to care about anyone other people's other people's life have nothing to do with yours right like you need to find your own truth so i'm gonna help you to find that uh with the importance of self-awareness and um and then it comes um comes to once again the importance of you know shifting your narrative around the failure and then i think finally transforming into the third phase actually i start talking about what is the purpose of life what is happiness and success in life not an overused way i want to say but to transition to that i also talk about like what does it mean to be inspirational person and once again it comes back to the topic of being independent versus being interdependent and then if good thing happened or bad thing happen it's never about you like we are we're you know trapped in this body of this individual person this you know tiny body in this universe we tend to look at events and everything and then we interpretate according to us but if you notice that we are part of the bigger system if good things happen or bad thing happen it's never about you so when you have that big organization you really have this courage to gain the sense of peace and then really have this ability to i guess gain the courage to see the life a little bit less serious than you're saying look at looking at it right now and that's okay like that's the way it should be so that's that kind of summarizes the whole thing so i mean it's really

a psychological and philosophical philosophy like point of view is there there's some spiritual aspects to it too right um yeah i think it it probably the most the spiritual part of it is so for example i talk about happiness as a term to describe your ability to meet your true self so i i forgot if you mentioned but uh there's this quote that i used right from the greek philosopher he says happiness is virtues of activities uh sorry happiness is virtual activities of the soul so meaning that your true happiness can be only recognized when you decide to be who you are and that's not necessarily decide to be who you are but i'm talking about like at the really like true sense and at the very core level like when you decide that what you want is what you want and you're willing to get it you're willing to take the rejections you're willing to take the hardships you're willing to overcome the adversities in the direction you want to grow that's that that makes you to meet your true potential that makes you to meet your true self and that's happiness and i really really resonate with that and also another portion of it is we are bigger part of the system like you know once again like we tend to be trapped in the thinking of this like individual body but we are really just a part of the universe we're really part of the bigger system and we're connected right we're all connected yeah so in that like i think and not thinking really allows us to

like connect with our spirituality in in a more true sense and then like you know aside from like skipping all that fear of being wrong being just being you know like yeah wrong right like we can skip all that because in the end like we're all here we all want the same thing and then we're just connected to each other one another and then the true happiness is only realized when you are like spiritually and truly connected within yourself and when you are when this when this all takes place and you have this this like type of balance spiritually mentally psychologically and you have this um philosophical view

does it how important is that to maintaining and running a business into growing a business i mean obviously it's important because you're teaching these aspects and these principles but what are some of the differences maybe if you're not doing those type of things yeah so i think in terms of business i think the most important thing is the emotional intelligence part i mean there's a big big portion of the business a business that's directly connected to how you manage your mind like it's never about managing your time it's never about managing your you know resources whatever you have it's always about managing your mind because you know mind has the unlimited potential and however you decide to navigate it you're gonna get the results from it from the input you put in from the mind so that being said um yeah mind is very strong driver of whatever the business you have um and i guess the reason i mentioned the emotional intelligence is because you know in business basically this ability to be the artist and practitioner while being uncomfortable is possibly the best skill you can have as a business owner or the leader because once again it's never about you like if something happened in the market if some you know your customer is bad whatever whatever happened to you bad thing or a good thing in your business it's never about you and when you understand that you understand how to create your action detached from your emotion so you can navigate through the situation with very high sense of emotional intelligence so in that part i see the connection that makes sense

can you talk a little bit about and i think this all kind of goes in line with confidence building but um can you talk about like some of the things that you're doing to to help these business owners and these entrepreneurs like with confidence building some of maybe some of the things some of the strategies you use yeah so just to kind of like give you a clear idea i i'm actually i actually put this in my book but i don't necessarily um coach this topic to people right now but it is available on my book um and the confidence something i talk about in my book is that confidence is something that you can decide to have but there are some mechanical things you can do uh confidence also comes from the actual results you're getting and that is why actually this is a very uh interesting timing you brought the same question because i talked about this methodology that i developed uh predicated on the five different ideas the first one comes from uh british sorry the first one comes from italian engineer the second one comes from british economist the third one comes from a mckinsey the corporate strategy and then the fourth one comes from uh toyota the dean manufacturing the japanese company right and then the fifth one comes from the 34th u.s president uh the matrix he was using to organize his day and then basically what i did there was i derived this scoring system and basically people can be very organized like visually very organized about what's uh most important to them in at that point and then this framework really helps you to be organized in your life even i see it as so the point of me making this is that i wanted to um really show people that it is very important that you are organized within yourself within your way of communicating to yourself and into outside the world and then the more uh being the more organized you are the more effective and efficient you are as and then as a result you theoretically you will see more results coming out of it right so um to your point i basically made this matrix that i use every day available for other people to use to have more efficient more effective execution plan to whatever they're doing and then this way they can have a result faster and then that's going to become their confidence so this book it sounds like it's not just for business owners and entrepreneurs it sounds like it's for everybody and it can be applied in pretty much any aspect of life that's wonderful that's a beautiful thing um what did you what what other things what did you study in college were you do you come from like a psychological background do you um no actually i i studied um once again econ in uh business very heavily but it makes it very interesting mix because i think uh subconsciously or just by nature i have the brain of like philosopher a little bit like i like philosophy and i like psychology as well i'm very good at observing people um but it made really interesting mix because when i look at business strategies or um economic strategy i kind of uh see the impact of that in people instead of impact of that in business so that's why i was able to show these strategies and then make it into life strategy so that people can use it interesting and i i think it's it's a it's an important aspect of business that maybe sometimes is overlooked uh very interesting

um you talk a little bit about um meeting the identity circle and it's based on greek a greek philosopher can can you touch a little more on that yeah so we um we kind of visited earlier a little bit about what it is so but then the identity is so-called this is another framework i developed a bit from the idea from the ancient greek philosopher and then once again his quote was the happiness's virtual activities of the soul so meaning that the adversities or hard things that comes against your life is not an enemy of your life at all like it's not the hardship that suffers you hardships is here to grow you and when you're able to shift that perception um of hardships like you cannot not adore your hardships like you you cannot not love the feeling of failure like the feeling of being challenged right but in order for you to do that you have to own it you have to be in a position to be able to own it and then in order for you to do that you really need to know uh what who you are about what you're about what your value is about like and then these are the things that um makes your belief stronger of like what you want so you can take it you can you're willing to take the hits that's going to come to you in in the journey or in the way of you glowing into the direction you want to grow into right so that's why i came up with this framework of this identity circle where i show you who you're about uh what you like to do what you believe and then basically meeting to this one point of a circle this is who you are so yeah that's about it i gotcha um so watching some of your videos on life up tv i noticed that you know there's a lot of good things that are being that's being said about the work that you're doing and can you share maybe some of the examples of some things that you've done for businesses or ceos um like you know some some real world examples maybe without giving away too many details but just can you share some of that yeah well really like my intention was never really to um like be a coach or anything like that but it kind of like happened by more natural manner so basically i'm like like this all the time and then whenever i have like some hardship uh hardships hit me like you know it's not like i don't get disappointed or i don't get discouraged but i'm always back in my computer are like working working right like in a matter of hour and then so i always had that like uh toughness and then strengths in my mind and people around me uh start like knowing that basically whenever they had their business problems or whenever they had the life problems they kind of started coming to me but it was just like uh me being a good friend to them but eventually it kind of like got involved to the point where people are kind of like deferring me to people and then that's how it kind of or happened was like you know i was just being there be a good friend and then people fortunately people found it very helpful uh and then i gave them energy and all that so yeah basically from there like people started coming to me interesting what are what drives you what do you think it is that that inspires you or keeps pushing you um to progress and to do this kind of work um possibility of humanity i think i'm a loving person and then the definition of love i define love as this as following i think love is your genuine caring your love the love is your willingness and so that's why when you say you have your self love that means that when everyone else in this world gives up on you you're not gonna give up on yourself and you know it i'm not going to give up on myself and that takes courage for you to say that like even even if my parents gave up on me even if like anyone bring me anyone even if they give up on me i'm not going to give up on myself and that's a true self-love like i love myself so much that i'm not gonna i'm not willing i am willing to take any hit any [ __ ] any hardship the last thing i do is to give up on myself right and then that applies to everything else like i have the same concept in my dream i have the same concept to my community i have the same concepts to people close to me you know like i'm a loving person and i like to provide love in that sense i never want to be neutral i never want to be like the cool kid like a cool person who's gonna just assume oh like you know that's not gonna work like you look stupid like i'm not gonna be like that like i'm gonna be always caring person who wants to give love and who wants to show the world that whatever we dream of is possible and i truly believe that it is like we we have done so many beautiful incredible things of the humanity and that inspires me i want to show that to everyone and i want people to be more loving to themselves more loving to the things around them that inspired me that's wonderful what what are some of your future plans then for for like your business and what what you want to do what are some of the things that you want to do well honestly i'm very much still sorry did i did i get you okay um no i i mean my goal is definitely growing the life of education tv um i'm from um i'm interacting and cooperating with a lot of other creators right now uh but yeah that's my next big thing and you know like the thing is i'm a big believer of having a patient i'm not here for the short sprint i'm here for a long-term marathon like i'm i'm here for the long time so you know before i even start thinking about next thing i i i wanna like care for it i wanna pull all the love i have to the thing that's in front of me you know so this is a big deal for me so i'm gonna probably spend some time still to fully focus on growing life of the educational tv stay in the moment you're staying in the moment nice

um can you just real quick to wrap this up just touch a little bit more on your book you know what can people find in your book that um that can maybe inspire them or help them you know what can they look for or you know what are some reasons to really to to buy your book right uh i mean there's a lot a lot of reason but uh to you know basically mention about once again the name of the book the game of self-domination when uh it all comes down to your mind it all comes down to your your willingness you you don't have to show off by you know how much expensive stuff you have how beautiful your girlfriend is or boyfriend is whatever like you never don't you don't have to show off but only thing you can show off and then how to work on the competitor is your willingness and in order for you to do that you really need to have that right angle to the cut failure you need to be mentally stronger and once again that's going to take a lot of courage um and i mean once again then i guess it comes back to the self-awareness part because not everybody wants to do that right so basically to your point i guess the strongest point of my life uh on my book really comes down to how to shift your thinking around failure and then make that's gonna help you to be stronger um and i guess at the same time it will help you to find what you really want and then care a little bit less about what other people think and self-domination so you know it comes down here that's excellent so where can we find your book and some of the great work that you're doing where can we get ahold of you yeah so my name is that's my name is natsune oki um that's naoki right here i mean are you recording a video or is this audio it it's both okay okay good yeah my name is natsune oki right here um it's uh sorry yeah yeah i'm on the life of education tv you can find me on youtube you can find me on facebook instagram twitter tickstock um yeah that's about it and i have some podcasts already available on my on my website as well so that being said i have like anger and everything else

excellent well not today it's been a great it's been a great show it's been a wonderful topic thanks for being on the show yeah thank you very much

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