Updated: Apr 13
If you are landing your first job:
You can not decide which career to go with
Do all or pick one with an ease. You can always change your mind later. You still have loooooonnnngggg life to go, and looooooonnng career to go. As long as you have a healthy body, there is no reason to be scared of - you are not risking $h*t! You can always make up for your mistake if something turns out to be one. It’s more important to fix wrong decisions you made than trying to make the best decision because the reality is.... you can't even know what the right decision is anyway unless you experience both decisions which is impossible.
You don't have any confidence
It’s ok to not know what you want. What’s not ok is to give up trying to find what you want. You don’t have to be insecure about not knowing in life and not knowing what you want. As much as this uncertainty looks scary, you only have your youth once in your life. Being young is exciting and fun. Focus on exciting opportunities rather than the shortage of knowledge - you will have all these responsibilities and knowledge even if you don’t want to in the future, your turn will come. And the truth of the matter is... these adults who pretend to know everything, they don't know nothing neither in the definitive term . They are also still trying their best figuring out their lives from what they know.
You want to dream
When you don’t know exactly what to pursuit, the decision can be as simple as deciding in between chocolate ice cream or vanilla ice cream.
Unless you do something you don’t even know what the right decision is anyway. So do it all.
You have a hard time handling rejections
Everyone else sucks too. You just gotta find your market fit. You are not better than you really are or worse than you really are.
Rejections don’t change your value.
There is a market for used underwear in japan. What does this mean? - It means that everything is interesting by someone. You just need to find the group of people who finds what you offer interesting.
And even those who rejected you, they struggle the same fucking fear. They are afraid of being rejected too!!!!! - They suck too!!!!
It’s just context. The same people who rejected you can accept you in another situation and the same people who accepted you can also reject you in another.
You want to live your life in your own term
Do it! It’s more practical to make the tough jumps in the early age, psychologically and physiologically. Like people can start at any age, (Having responsibility doesn’t have to be a reason for someone to stop someone from trying but,) when you don’t have the responsibility, it simply makes it more practical and easy to take risks.
You want to make a lot of money for no particular reason
I think you should go out and try doing that. You might like it, you might not. We don’t know unless you do it, but one thing I’ve learned is that it’s really hard to pursuit a dream for money, and only for the money for either perseverance or mental happiness reason. The better approach I found is to make ‘enough’ that compromise your ambition and satisfy your happiness.
If you are starting a company. You want to change your career:
Trying to find what you want in your life in a real heavy way for the first time
Self awareness can be such a strong weapon for life and happiness. Asking yourself the hard questions might be difficult in the moment but the consequence of not asking them comes with a bigger cost later.
The decision can be simple and easy, as easy as choosing between a candy or a chocolate to get a sense of what it is like to pursuit what you want.
The most important thing is to never give up in the search. Don’t judge yourself when you make mistakes because failures actually give you more insights than successes.
I can't start because I don't have the right information, strategy or a mentor
Consciously look out for the information that can benefit you. Today, we have the internet and we have no excuse.
We can have access to our mentors digitally which was not available just within 20 years ago. So don’t let ‘not having the right mentor’ or ‘the right kind of information’ be the reason for you to stop.
Guys! The world is changing! It is changing everyday if you like it or not. The knowledge you want to rely on from older people hence, can be easily outdated anyway.
Whatever happens in your life happens. You can’t and shouldn’t prevent the failures you are supposed to experience because in the end of the day, you are not missing anything out by not listening to someone you look up to. There is no right answer but there is only YOUR answer.
You don't know what happiness is
There is no one answer that I can tell you that I assume should be everyone’s answer. All answers can be unique.
One thing I know is that people feel happy when they make progress to become who they want to become which actually has nothing to do directly with money. Things don’t make us happy. It’s who we become that makes us happy.
You are sad, judgmental, cynical and negative.
You are not a sad, judgmental, cynical or negative person. You are just entitled, insecure and fearful. And notice how I did not say you are an entitled person, insecure person or fearful person. But rather I said you are that as adjectives because GOOD NEWS! You are in full control !!!
You can change it!!!
The first phase is awareness, the second phase is willingness and finally the third phase is perseverance.
Everybody else sucks too. Many people ARE sad, judgmental, cynical and negative. Why ?because we are all afraid of being disappointed and let down.
So, you are not negative, you are scared. And guess what? Positive people are scared too! They are not just lucky, they are just as scared as you are, but they decide to be and stay positive.
Being negative, hopeless, insecure does not take any strength.
Despite the risk and hardships, being positive and inspirational takes some hard strength. So Now it’s up to you what you want to do.
If you are getting married or starting a family
You are finding it hard to pursuit a dream
Now it might be harder, yes, to start chasing your dream when you already have some responsibilities. But if someone who looks like you succeeded, you can too!!!
I know plenty of people who became successful chasing their dreams all while providing for their families.
One good example who I also talked about in my book, "the game of self domination” is Chris Gardner, who's life was captured in the real life story movie ‘the pursuit of happiness’ played by Will Smith. Not only he had his kid to feed but also he had to do it all by himself without the wife and even a house to live!!!! And he still managed to become a super successful businessman whose life is drawn by a Hollywood movie. The potential is unlimited.
You can say, because I have kids to feed, I can’t take risks - which is also ok and hopefully that decision gives you a stronger sense of fulfillment and happiness overall in your life.
Aaaannd, you can start at a later time too when the kid grows up a bit, but also remember, you’d ALWAYS have some sort of reasons WHY you don’t want to start TODAY anyway - whatever the situation you are in.
You can also say, because I have kids to feed, I MUST SUCEED. You can have them as a reason to commit to your dream and the reason for you to be willing to sacrifice anything to succeed in your dream. And the latter is not scary but actually more exciting as a scenario.
It's your perception that shapes your destiny!